Shatner Roast

Celebrity Roast: Last night while channel surfing I came across a celebrity roast for William Shatner and as an old Star Trek fan couldn’t resist. I should have.

It occurs to me that I haven’t actually seen many celebrity roasts, in fact it’s been… a long time. The last one I remember had Dean Martin, Don Rickles and Demond Wilson (I told you it was a long time). I don’t remember who was being roasted but I remember it was side-splittingly funny.

This roast had Farah Fawcett, who still has a nice figure (with her clothes on at least) though almost unrecognizable in the face and obviously stoned out of her gourd, Geroge Alexander from Seinfield, Nichelle Nichols, Betty White, George Takei and some comedians I didn’t recognize.

Farah couldn’t speak her lines without cracking up and announced that she and Shatner had a lot in common, they were both known for their hair, their boobs and they’d both f*&ked Lee Majors. It went down hill from there.

Somebody in a Vulcan costume announced that he was “Kock” the “butt baby” of a union between Kirk and Spock. A young comedian kept getting up, walking over to verious people and licking their faces. George Takei, evidently just out of the closet, came up with a lot of female genitalia smell jokes and a rather racist jab at Carlos Mencia who wasn’t even there. Takei was the butt of the one funny joke we heard in the ten minutes we were tuned in. “Hey George, when you came out of the closet, did the door slide aside “whoosh” like on the Enterprise?”

Thank God Nichelle Nichols and Betty White kept their mouths shut, I always thought they were classy ladies. (If you watched more than I did and know different, keep it to yourselves please.) It hurt a little to see the luminously beautiful Jerry Ryan laughing in the audience.

Look, it’s not that it was vulgar and tasteless. I’ve told more than my share of vulgar and tasteless jokes in my time. It’s that IT WASN’T FUNNY!

I’ve seen and enjoyed a lot of vulgar humor in not very good taste that was redeemed by being funny. (Actually, when it’s funny I think you call it “earthy”.) This was just sad. And for what it’s worth I thought there was a strong undercurrent of very real bitterness between the participants.

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