Global Warming – it might get up to minus 10

I got braced by a global warming alarmist on the street the other day, who wanted to know if I liked polar bears.

“Uh, not in my neighborhood.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said I don’t want polar bears in my neighborhood. They eat people.”

“Oh but I mean in the Arctic. Global warming is destroying their habitat and they’re in danger of extinction.”

“How is global warming going to threaten polar bears? I’ve seen them in zoos as far south as San Diego and they looked just fine to me.”

She on the other hand, looked upset. “Global warming is threatening all life on earth!” she said accusingly, as if it were somehow my fault.

Since she had a clipboard, I assumed that she wanted either a signature or a donation from me, neither of which I was in much of a mood to give. So I temporized.

“Listen, I’m a little busy right now but I’d be happy to speak to you at length another time – if you can answer me a few questions.”

1) Why is global warming happening on Mars now? I’m reasonably sure it’s not from industrial pollution, but if it keeps up Mars’ mean temperature (currently minus 46 degrees C) might get as high as minus 10 degrees Celsius in a few centuries.

2) Since the average temperature of the earth is four degrees short of the Climactic Optimum of 10 thousand years ago (when agriculture was invented) – can you tell me why global warming would be a bad thing?

3) In my youth, the fashionable world disaster was the Next Ice Age – could you please make up your mind? I look forward to hearing her answers. At least I’ll know whether I should think about moving to Mars.