Stephen W. Browne Rants and Raves

February 2, 2011

You know you’re a contrarian when…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Stephen W. Browne @ 8:20 am

I just got this email circular about Democrats.

Most of it is I think, both witty and on the mark. But… (There’s always a “but,” isn’t there?)

On a few of these points, I have to ask some searching questions.


When your friends cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their “Top Ten” reasons from this list.

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a
gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of
gas at 15% isn’t.

Always a good point. Anybody got anything to say about the fact the oil companies support Democrats more than Republicans and cheerfully accept the ethanol subsidy, i.e. a license to sell watered-down gas at a profit?

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

Hmmmm, I’m old enough to remember when “offensive speech” meant pornography – and right-wingers were tying themselves in knots explaining how it wasn’t protected by the First Amendment. I believe you can still get that argument from say, L. Brent Bozell.

I’ll concede that even if the First is interpreted to mean, “only political speech is protected” it’ll do less harm than “speech offensive to protected minorities” (or women, still 51 percent last I looked.) But I have great faith in the ability of intellectuals of all stripes to redefine “political speech.”

4. I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

Just remember by “murderers and theives” the Founding Father’s meant, in government. This makes both sides uncomfortable.

I’m also old enough to remember that once fiery liberal Hubert Humphry was an avid hunter and un-abashedly thought gun ownership was an insurance policy against oppressive government.

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in twenty years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

6. I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

Agreed. But I also remember when the Right supported a draft, the Left’s rejoinder was, “It appears the Right believes in the right of individuals to life – until they’re old enough to be drafted.”

I don’t think anybody is advocating a draft anymore though.

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

Good one, except when the states take the Federalism built into the Constitution seriously and decriminalize medical marijuana…

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions of dollars for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised “HOPE AND CHANGE”.

Still pretty good boys. Needs work on a few points though.

1 Comment »

  1. Hey! Charles Rangel wants to bring back the draft!

    Comment by dave.s. — February 2, 2011 @ 8:08 pm

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